18 Things Every Christian Woman Should Know About Christian Men

young_menThere tons of books and articles that talk about how a woman can "find" a man. Do you really think that the use of rules or any other special tactics are the best things to place a woman on the path towards marriage? Please remember that bible says that "He who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (NIV) Proverbs 18:22. For all of the ladies that read this post, it is important to understand that God does not intend for you to go out and find a husband. He intends for your future husband to go and find you.

God needs to prepare all of us for marriage (men and women). Often times we remain unmarried, because we are not ready in God's eyes. 

To my sisters in Christ…if you truly want a Christian man in your life, there are some things I think you should know. I'm talking about a true authentic Christian man. I'm referring to a man that is not perfect, but he loves God deeply. I'm referring to a man that will treat you like queen and lead your family as he follows Christ.

I am going to take a little liberty and speak for authentic Christian men around world. If you are a single female, here is what you should know about some of the things that go on in the mind of authentic Christian men as it relates to you. (If you are a married woman, some of these things may help you out too)

1. We love God even though we may not always show it the same manner that you do.

2. We are not afraid of marriage. 

3. We are not perfect just because we love God. Learn to deal with our imperfections. We learn to deal with yours.  

4. A positive and happy woman will always be more attractive than a negative and angry one.

5. What goes on between us should stay between us. Your girlfriend and/or family don't need to know everything. 

6. Gossip is unattractive.

7. Selfishness is really unattractive.

8. Less clothing does not make you more attractive. We want to see your breasts, but not until we put a ring on your finger.

9. Please go easy on the makeup or learn to apply it properly. We are looking to marry a woman not a clown.  

10. Don't be quick to be jealous of our relationships with our mothers. How we treat her will be a good indication of how we will treat you. 

11. Although SOME of us are prophets, NONE of us have the ability to read minds. If something is on your mind please say so. Clues are for Sherlock Holmes. 

12. Authentic Christian men genuinely like to help other people. That does not me we care any less about you. 

13. We are not like the other people who have hurt you in the past. 

14. We aren't as obsessed with your weight as your are. 

15. If we comment about exercise or eating habits it is because we care about your health. We want you to be around to spend time with us.

16. The fact that you have children is not stopping us from getting to know you.

17. Whatever we like before marriage (food, sports, video games, etc), we will continue to like after marriage. 18. There are constructive ways to ask us to do things, to informs us and to correct us. Nagging is not one of those ways.

So, what do you think about the list? Is there anything else that should be added?

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  • Dorina

    I like this. It is true in so many ways but it does have some clause. A man judges a woman by not just her appearance but she can contribute to him or do for him and now so many men are looking for the women to support them. An average woman who does not dress to show off her assets goes un noticed in so many men eyes because they are attracted to the glamor shine and mere thought if she can dress she must have and have for me too.

  • Melody

    I completely agree with Cliff, no i am not a man, but i have always believed that a true Man of God is not focused on looks. Wordly men do that.

  • jf

    my friend and I have been friends for the last 3 years. We went our separate ways for about 1 yr and a half. I met up with him again at our church( i finally joined). Well we exchanged numbers and began a really good friendship, we read the bible together talk about things and we always incorporate Jesus in our WWJD conversations. Well lately Ive expressed to him that im interested in moving forward and he agrees but says not now! He lives with his mother and is helping her out and he says not until him and his girls(yes he has full custody of both girls)move and get their house. Im trying to accept his answer but apart of me is saying if he wants to be with me then he would be with me. We can grow together…What do you guys think?

  • Lee

    What is nagging?

  • http://thegospelblog.com Cliff

    @jf,

    I’m not a relationship expert. However it seems like he is trying to do the right thing. It may be hard for him to give you the attention you deserve if he is taking care of his mom and his girls.

    If you believe that this the man, that God wants you to be with, then I suggest that you continue to be a good friend to him. Over time God will begin to move in his heart and you will see a change is your relationship.

    If this is not the man God wants you to be with, then I suggest you move on.

    @Lee,

    Nagging probably means different thing for different people. For me nagging can be defined as continually complaining. I also see it as nit-picking over insignificant items and details.

    People have a tendency to nag when they want things done on their terms. Here is a good article about nagging: http://marriage.about.com/od/chores/a/nagging.htm

  • http://www.christianwalktoday.com Christian Women

    Hi..
    This is necessary for all one to know every one for living better life. There are 18 facts are given, to know christian women about christian men for better life. This is ultimate source to know that points. Thanks for sharing.

  • ByFaith

    @jf

    I think that it is great the the two of you read the Bible together. May I suggest that you read, re-read, and read again Genesis 24. There is such a rich depth of insight that we as godly women (and men) can take from this passage of scripture. Study the character traits and ways of Rebekah. Who is ultimately (and divinely)doing the leading? We’ve taken too many of our dating cues from the world …. that are just plain wrong. You have to be open to having the Holy Spirit prepare you for being a wife. So instead of “you expressing that you are interested in moving forward”…be still, be a friend, but most importantly pray and find out what God’s will is for the FIVE of you! By the way, he sounds like a fantastic man!

  • Janetkirouc

    well I'd like to add that I agree with all of the above and woman arn't perfect either,,but I'd say a christian man will be worth waiting for and hopefully maybe because you wern't perhaps allowed to add this but hopefully a Christian man will have a huge apetite (sp) for sexual intimacy and yes after the rings are on the fingers,,,,,lol,,

  • Vallen17271

    Great but where are they? It seems as though a christian man is afraid to approach a christian woman. I understand that church services are not for meeting, but my goodness it would be nice to be notice from time to time.

  • Gabbin4God

    I wish more men and women would read this and agree to try. Too many couples go about dating and relationships in the way of the world and wonder why things go wrong and they get hurt. we need to look to God and trust on Him and lean not on our own understanding.

  • Darlene Loveless

    Very good information, thank you. It is good to be reminded of these things every now and then. It's so easy to forget when we are bombarded with junk from our secular society every day.

  • Zepeda Karina1754

    I wanted to say thanks so much some of the things here opens my eyes big time sometimes I wpouldnt understand why my boyfriend was bing a certain way and wow tons of this points match him:)

  • L2snik

    I feel like this list is a little bit condesending…not that it's not true, but things should be written in love, not written like were idiots.

  • Haitiandiva72

    All of this is not true and you know it.. 

  • Lady4God

    What if I found this great christian man that loves me but has stopped going to church barely reads the bible and is always going out of his way to check out other women around me but also tells me im beautiful. Is it ok for men to check out other women?..i’ve dated three christian men and they all do the same thing. Whats up?

  • Undergrace247

    You do not have a Christian man let alone a GREAT Christian man. You are dating wolves in sheep’s clothing. They call themselves by our Lord’s name but have obviously taken it in vain. And if you should marry one of them I can guarantee they will continue to look and lust after other women while pacifying you with, “I love you” and “you’re the only one for me, Baby”, or “You are SOOO beautiful, girl!”. What his actions are really saying is, “I love you and them, too”, and “you’re the only one for me, but I’d like to have some of THAT going by as well” or “You are soooo beautiful, and so is she, and her, and that one over there”. God wants you to be loved exclusively by someone who will have you and hold you and you ONLY — body, MIND, and spirit… Learn to give yourself good things. Let God define for you what is goodness and persue that instead. Stop making excuses for these phonies! The Father is trying to show you who they are, so that you would leave them alone. He wants to teach you what a good man, His man looks like, acts like, believes like… Pray.

  • Patty G

    Good points, but haven’t seen many really Christian men around lately. The ones I know act like these things aren’t important and the opposites are.

  • Kygirl1943

    That is the truth!!  My husband does all this to me constantly and tells me he is not doing anything at all.  He thinks I am blind or stupid one I guess.  This makes me feel so bad and I hate it when he does this.  I know he will never stop and I am about ready to let him go.  Even though I strongly believe in marriage and till death do us part.  But I know he would do whatever he could if he got the opportunity!!.  I hate living with a person like this.

  • Beachgirlheart4christ

    It’s cute and true… Sometimes you need to be reminded of these things.

  • Heythere

    Every couple decades I come across a Christian man with a physically unattractive wife. On those occasions, I have a glimmer of hope that Christian men aren’t just as superficial as non-Christian men. All I’ve got to say is, talk is cheep my lads, talk is cheep.

  • st

    Interesting…though my reply is a year late, I’ve been there done that.  If a man wants to be with you, he will have NO reservations.  NONE!  What if all this takes 5 years, are you willing to wait that long?  That was my mistake – I waited, and waited, and waited until I prayed and asked God to give me the courage to stand alone.  Pray and seek HIS guidance.  

  • Carol

    I have a question on number 1.  How can I tell if a man truly loves God and is a fellow believer, or is just saying he is to impress me? I’ve been in the situation before where I was dating a man who claimed to be a devout believer, but most of his actions proved otherwise. Then he said I was judging him. Well, I don’t want to date an unbeliever! I have to judge on some level, don’t I? Like if a guy seems to not have any interest in reading the Word , and is not very committed to staying pure, that’s a red flag, right? Am I way off here?

  • VictoriaEnCristo

    Excellent Advice!(: ~Remember Proverbs 3:5,6.

  • Songtotheking

    His fruits. U can tell by his fruits. He may not be perfect but if he messes up u should see an acknowledgement of wrong doing. And yes, he neeeeeeds to be committed to staying pure, even if he’s having a hard time with it. But if he is having a hard time, u probably shouldn’t be dating him. At least not being with him alone…

  • Songtotheking

    Keep in mind that men are very visual people, not because of society, but because that’s the way God made us. Society just places highest priority on it. We want to be with someone who we find physically attractive. I’m waiting for a girl who is spectacular and stunning both spiritually and physically. Just like u shouldn’t lower ur standards for a passionate, loving, and godly leader of a man, why should we lower our standards? I’m not trying to come down on u, just some food for thought

  • Ribbittribbitt93

    Hello! I have a big question… I have been dating this guy for a little more than four years and we plan on getting married but I have this feeling in my heart that worries me. I keep worrying about how things will pan out after. He has had some bad experiences with the church when he was little and as he grew up, he has been finding complete faith diffficult… He is trying so hard and he tells me he is going to continue trying and support me and our future family in my faith but i’m scared. I have complete faith that God will touch his heart even more (because he is trying when he never did before). Do I continue to wait for marriage or should I go in anyways and continue working on it? Should I continue on this path? I’ve been praying long and hard but I don’t know what to do. I want to live a life as a christian wife and helper to my husband more than anything. Helps? Advice?

  • Wjenee

    I know this is a little off topic but I’m a single woman of God. God is my first and forever be my first love, I guess my question is can God tell a woman that some man is her husband? She isn’t chasing him or anything, she barely knows him, but is that possible? He has said it more than once, or is it just in her head?

  • Dushku

    i know what you mean, i’ve had the same feeling. If you follow god, just try in all that you do to do what is right, and love god. he will work things out for you, the desires of your heart will be his. 

  • Dushku

    a man who is with you should not check out other women, bring it to his attention and remember everything you say should be blessed by God, Obviously pray about it and God will work things out, if he can create the Universe he can find a man for you

  • Joseph

    LOL…you are hilarious. We most definately do. Especially once we understand the picture that relationships, spiritual, emotional, and physical paints. It makes us desire that intimacy even more, as God desires to be close to us. Always remember that if a man is passionate about God, and people than he should be extremely passionate about satisfying all your needs. Its a mutual thing. He’ll be the sexual freak you’ve always desired. God can and will do for you what the world can’t do for you. You just have to be patient. Grace&Peace!!!

  • Anitarichmond28

    # 10 Is a lie i have been married for seven years, and i feel like im in competition with my mother in law my husband is a only child.

  • Mstew

    I would err on the side of caution in moving forward with this marriage relationship. I was in a very similar situation. The one thing you said really jumped out to me, you said that he “is going to continue trying and support me and our future family in my faith…”. Key words being “my faith”. The guy I was engaged to was using me for his faith in God. He has to have his own faith that is really strong apart from yours. It sounds to me like you don’t have peace about marrying him, hence the worrying. Don’t go forward with something you don’t have peace about.

  • Care1984

    A true man of God shouldn’t be focused on looks but yet sad thing is I find the majority of people out there do base first things on looks. They don’t take the time to get to know a person, cause they think their not HOT! Witch to me is wrong, looks fade, we all change, it should be a persons heart, what they have to offer and thier relationship with God that matters. But that’s people today.

  • Care1984

    What does the Bible say we need to do to have a relationship with Him? If the person does not have Jesus in their heart, nor follow Him or have a every day walk with Him..walk away. We should not go for someone just cause they say they are a Christian, it’s by their actions and what values they stand for. Hear is a good tip to follow, write a list of things that are important to you, that you stand for and follow in your walk with God. If he doesn’t agree with them or follow those things, than He doesn’t have the same standers as you and not ment to be. Don’t lower yourself just so your not allown. God will send the right person, who will challenge you in your walk and you two can grow together.

  • amberosia16

    Then try #11 or #18

  • amberosia16

    Wait sorry this was ment for the person below

  • annon

    hi, Im currently dating a man of Christ.Things havent been going good for us. I let him dowm more than once and this weekend I failed him more than ever. I wasnt there for him when he needed me the most.I wasnt been a woman of Christ. How do I now show him that I’m still the same woman  that he fell in love with and how do we mend this broken home.How do I show him that I’m here, even if I wasnt this past weekend. I have no one to turn to and we’d really appreciate you input. I love this man and I dont want to lose him.

  • Sshadow

    Genesis 2:24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.Christian men should learn how to leave their Father and Mother and be united to their wife.

  • Sshadow

    Proverbs 11:2

    When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

  • 928events

    I love this list and was just talking to a friend about some of these things as well. I also made mention to her that she could stop looking for the man of her dreams because he doesn’t exist. Most women look for a man that can read her mind, be there all the time but get lost when she doesn’t want to be bothered. Know how she feels and what to do when she feels sad. That man doesn’t exist, that is God. I told her that we as women need to recognize the differences and respect them as that. Understand that he is not going to be everything we need all the time and we can’t be what they need all the time but the need to love each other and serve each other is the greatest of all. I look forward to my new relationship and am very patient to wait on God to help a sista out… :-)

  • Mmalone

    I have been a born-again Chrisitan for over 16 years. I am over 40. I am a Sunday School teacher, choir & praise team member, and have been a short-term missionary to other parts of the world over 8 times. I am attractive, witty, kind, people loving and outgoing. I can be romanticly shy, submissive (in a good way), honorable, Christ following woman. I have no illusions about marriage or men in general. I get that God made men visual. And I beleive in keeping myself up & being as attractive as I can be. However, no one is perfect, especially me. I am not looking to rescue a man or change a man to fit my life. My pursuit in Christian dating has been very difficult & heart breaking on many occasions due to the lack of committment to Christ & Christ-like “desires” from the population of Christian men. Single woman are hoping & praying to marry a dedicated Christian man. Although it is honorable for a man to be attracted MORE to your beautiful walk in the Lord, rather than your body; the fact is, in my experience, that the majority of Christian men are not persuing normal, good, kind, even attractive Christian women. If they aren’t over concerned with looks…they often get scared off by our uncompromising committement to Christ & knowledge of God’s Word. Like somehow our desire to know more about God is intimidating. I have had to “dumb down” to make a guy feel more comfortable on too many occasions. I’m sorry but that is the sad truth. Not compromising on faith issues & accepting our physical bodies for how God made us is the hardest battle a single Christian woman has these days in finding a Godly, equally yoked mate. I have experienced first hand, dating a man for a period of many months. Going to church together, studying scripture together, having genuine fun together, while remaining sexually pure, only to have them either show no desire for a ‘future’ committment (i.e. keeping their “options open”) and then to find them persuing lesser committed & much lesser modest women, if you get my drift. The fact is, so called “Christian men” say they want the Proverbs woman, but end up persuing the sex-pot in the hopes of converting her to Jesus.

  • John_CCNV

    I don’t agree with this 100 percent because the bible Has many stories ware the women chases the guy and it is his will.

  • John_CCNV

    Ruth 3:3 Wash thyself therefore, and anoint thee, and put thy raiment upon thee, and get thee down to the floor: but make not thyself known unto the man, until he shall have done eating and drinking.
    4 And it shall be, when he lieth down, that thou shalt mark the place where he shall lie, and thou shalt go in, and uncover his feet, and lay thee down; and he will tell thee what thou shalt do.
    5 And she said unto her, All that thou sayest unto me I will do.
    6 And she went down unto the floor, and did according to all that her mother in law bade her.
    7And when Boaz had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of corn: and she came softly, and uncovered his feet, and laid her down.This is one example of how the girl goes after the man… I believe God works in many different ways and you can’t isolate yourself into only working in one way. But search the scripture. 

  • Myhven4eva

    This was informative, but I believe there is such a huge emphasis on what women should know  about men, and what women should or should not do…I myself just wana be able to be myself with my significant other.  If i’m having a bad day i should be able to share that info with him, without be looked at negatively.  I just don’t feel I need to tip toe around any subject or matter just because it may offend his ego.  I feel a strong bond & friendship is very important.  No matter how good or ugly, we should be able to talk about it openly & honestly.  Thanks for the info, and some of your tips are insightful, but just as men aren’t perfect, women are not perfect either.  I think it boils down to loving God first & trying to understand the magnitude of his love for us.  Once we have an idea of how much our Father loves us, then i truly believe a man & a woman will automatically have a successful, loving, respectful, grown up relationship.  We have  to experience His perfect love for us despite our many flaws, and then we will be able to duplicate it towards that special someone.

  • Tumibalogun

    Thank God I’m not the only one observing this.  It’s so scaringly true, it’s unreal!

  • http://twitter.com/ymmarta Teresa Rincon

    I’m not sure we should interpret Proverbs 18:22 to say that a woman must be totally passive in finding a husband. Ruth certainly took some initiative to end up with Boaz.

  • Cortezwash

    Your ideas were well thought out and very dear to my heart. I am so elated that you spoke of modest and kindness, which is vital in a Christian Women. May God bless you to keep sharing this blog!

  • Billyo

    i just hope that God will bless me to find the right woman to connect with again, especially after my wife of 15 years cheated on me.

  • Billyo

    i hope that God will bless me to find a good woman to connect with again, especially after my wife of 15 years that cheated on me.

  • Hahajaja

    wow “we want to see ur breasts” LOL might aswell call urself a lustful stupid disgusting woman!!!!

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