Sandra Bullock and Jesse James Marriage Troubles: What Christians Can Learn

jessejames-sandrabullockMultiple media outlets are reporting about the difficulties that actress Sandra Bullock and Jesse James are experiencing in their marriage. If these reports are accurate, it appears that they are basically on the verge of divorce.

While this is a sad event, there is a lesson that we can all learn if we observe closely. None of us are exempt from having certain things fall apart in our lives. Sandra Bullock is an attractive woman with plenty of money. You would think that her husband would not need to go outside of their marriage and sleep with another woman. (This is what allegedly happened.)

What happened to Sandra Bullock could happen to any of us. I don’t know of any foolproof formulas that will prevent your spouse from cheating on you. If there is a formula, it clearly does not involve beauty and money.

The lesson we can learn is that we need to continue to cultivate our relationships. It is easy to get heavily involved in other things and allow your marriage to go on autopilot. I encourage you to resist that. I encourage you to continue to remain in constant contact with your spouse. Talk about the good, the bad and the ugly as it relates to your marriage.

I can’t guarantee that your spouse won’t go out and do something completely foolish. However, you will have a much greater chance at success if your communication is strong.

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  • Deirdre

    First, I was startled to see this blog linked from a website I visited; because I believe Christians should not engage in such speculation and should avoid even the appearance of participating in gossip. I think you should be very careful about any discussion of this, since most of what you’ve cited here amounts to nothing but media hype and vicious gossip, mixed together with the possibility that a form of “celebrity stalking by publicity-seeking women” might be developing into a new “national sport”.

    There is no lesson here for marriage, because if the “gossip” I’ve had to listen to at work is to be believed, only one person in this union was “married” (that is, respectful of shared vows).

    If we have anything to learn from this – which I doubt – it is a lesson in grace that can be taken from the manner in which Ms Bullock has comported herself throughout what must be a media and papparazzi nightmare.

    It’s being widely demonstrated that even when the principles keep silent, the press will make up the story. As Christians, we should not feed this flame.

  • Cliff

    Deirdre, thanks for the comment.

    I think learning opportunities are all around us. There are many men and women that truly believe as long as they look good and make money, then their marriage will be OK.

    I’m not attempting to feed any flames. I didn’t say anything that wasn’t widely reported by reputable media outlets. It is OK to have a dialogue about certain things so you can learn and guard yourself from certain situations.

    Many ministers had extensive dialogue about the Ted Haggard situation. It isn’t pretty to talk about, but seeing Ted Haggard go through his struggles caused many ministers to examine their own lives and address their areas of struggle.

    I apologize if you find my comments inappropriate or offensive.

  • Deirdre

    Not inappropriate or offensive, Cliff; simply ill-considered. Do you truly believe in the existence of “reputable media outlets”? It seems to me most of them have damaged their reputations badly in recent years.

    I’m a WELS Lutheran, so only peripherally familiar with the Haggard situation. I always wonder why people react as they do when members of the clergy demonstrate that they possess the same human weakness and sinfulness that they are called to preach against. It should serve as a warning that anyone, any time, can fall. If not, why preach a loving God who lived and died as our substitute because we were incapable of keeping his commands? Not unwilling – completely unable, every one! No one who still draws breath is beyond salvation, but I’ve heard it said that Satan (you believe in Satan, right?) doesn’t spend much time worrying about unbelievers because they are already his; it is the faithful on whom he expends his greatest efforts. And if we are giving more time and attention to the business of others’ sins that we are our own, we are playing into his hand.

    But going back to the original subject, can it be healthy to devote so much time and attention to the private lives of people whose job it is to entertain, and whose “happy marriages” might be little more than the fantasy of some publicist? I don’t know what many men and women believe about their marriages; but it is my experience that oftentimes couples would fare better if they would simply devote less time and attention to the wedding, and more to the marriage.

    FYI, my husband and I are not perfect, but we’ve been imperfectly married for 32 years, working things out together, with God’s help, and NOT basing our lives on Hollywood’s examples. If a gossip rag had been following us around all these years, they probably would have found some “headline worthy” material to blow out of proportion by taking my side or his. Thank the Lord we haven’t been interesting enough to draw a crowd!

  • Cliff

    Call me naive, but I do believe that there are some reputable media outlets that work hard to provide accurate information.

    I do believe in Satan. I also believe that being informed and warned is different than giving more time and attention to the business of others’.

    It is clear that we have different concepts of time and attention. I don’t view mentioning something in one blog post as giving it a whole lot of time or attention.

    Thanks again for the comments. I appreciate the dialogue.

  • dating advice

    In this world, finding a good mate is not easy. Then after you find one, keeping the flame is another battle of its own. That is why we constantly need advice and information on how to keep our relationships happy. Today Tuesday, I was searching on Google for marriage troubles and I came across this post ( Sandra Bullock and Jesse James Marriage Troubles: What Christians Can Learn | The Gospel Blog), It has added to my knowledge and I thank you.

  • Emil Scallorn

    I just saw an article that Sandra Bullock sleeps with 9 dogs in her bed. Sorry, but for me it isn’t healthy at all.

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