Let me start out by saying that I am married and I haven’t been single (without a wife or girlfriend) for a long time. In all honesty, I don’t have any idea how tough or easy the dating landscape is for the single Christian. I hear people say all of the time that the dating options are limited. That’s probably an argument for another post.
Although options may be slim, I highly recommend that Christians should not date non-Christians. I’m not talking about going out for coffee or dinner. I’m talking about engaging in a romantic relationship. Here are a couple of things to consider:
Definition of A Christian
Make sure that you and the person you are dating have similar definitions of what a Christian is. If someone says “I am a Christian” that may not be the same as saying “I have a relationship with Christ.” Which one is more important to you?
What Does the Bible Say
Check out 2 Corinthians 6:14.
Whether we realize it or not, we are influenced by the people we spend time with the most. Who do you want to influence you? Yes, you could influence them, but they will definitely have some sort of influence on you.
You Can Change Him/Her
You can’t change the person. Only God can do that. If God intends to work a person’s heart, allow him to do the work before you begin dating the person.
Who Is 1st In Your Life?
As a believer, God is #1 in your life. A non-Christian may have a very hard time trying to understand that. They may not appreciate you placing God before them.
Let’s Tie It All Together
You may meet a really nice person who treats people well, looks nice and has a great job. In the grand scheme of things, all of that is not important. Sure, they may “believe in God.” However, I’m here to tell you that is not good enough. There is a difference between believing in God and having a life that is focused on and directed by God.
There are plenty of nice people out there, but if they do not believe what you believe, you are wasting your time as far as a romantic relationship is concerned. We all probably know one or two couples that started dating while one person was saved and the other was not. While dating, the unsaved person gave their life to Christ, now they are living happily ever after.
For every story like this there are dozens more that describe the complete opposite. There ends up being a lot of friction and heartache in the relationship. One person usually ends up not getting treated like they should. Sure, the couple may end up staying together, but they never realize the complete happiness that God intended for them to have.
If God wants to use you to draw the person closer to Him, He will give you strategies that DO NOT involve the two of you getting romantically involved. Think about it. Every relationship has those tough moments. When those moments arise do you want to be with someone who is led by God, or someone that is led by his/her own thoughts and emotions?
Please share your thoughts and experiences about Christians dating non-Christians.