The Minister’s Guide to Sin, Sex and Relationships: Lesson 2 – Never Be Alone With The Opposite Sex

What I’m about to say may sound old school. However, this can save many of us from situations that we will end up regretting later.

I strongly suggest that you do not put yourself in a situation where you are alone with the opposite sex. When this happens, it becomes easier for you to make yourself more susceptible to sexual sin. This rule is a little different if we are talking about a family member or someone that you are dating. When dating, it is difficult to get to know someone if the two of you are never alone by yourselves.

I’m sure that you have a couple of “what if” scenarios in your head:

What if someone asks me to come to their house to pray for them?
If you are asked to minister to, counsel, or pray for someone of the opposite sex in a private setting, I strongly suggest that you take someone else with you.

I have heard numerous stories where a woman asks a male minister to come and pray for her. When the male minister gets there, the woman is dressed in only her underwear. That is not a situation that you want to find yourself in.

What if it is obvious that I would not have any sexual interest in the person?
It is possible that you may not be sexually attracted to the person in any way. This person may even appear to be a pillar of your church or community. However, if you are alone with someone, there are only two Earthly witnesses to any of the activities that go on there. This person may attempt to accuse you of making a sexual advance toward them (God forbid). The accusations could even be something worse like sexual abuse, attempted rape, or theft.

In the end, it will be your story versus theirs. You may not have done anything wrong, but now you are caught in the middle of a big mess. This situation can easily be avoided if someone were accompanying you. That way, a third party would be able to verify the truth.

What if it is an emergency and I can’t find anyone else to accompany me?
If there is truly an emergency going on I doubt that you would be the sole person to address the issue. It is likely that the police and/or paramedics would also need to be involved.

If you absolutely must go meet with the person, then I strongly suggest that you call someone and tell them all the details about where you are going. While you are there, you may also want to maintain somewhat frequent phone contact until a third party arrives.

The Bottom Line
In my opinion, it is difficult for bad things to happen if you are never placed in those situations. For example, it would be really difficult for me to shoot someone in the leg if I never picked up a gun.

If someone asks to meet with you personally, I strongly suggest that you say: “For your protection and mine, I will need to bring someone else with me. Is that OK?” If they have any objections, kindly explain to them that doing this allows you to be responsible to God and your spouse (if you have one).

What are your thoughts about this? Is this a realistic approach?

The Guide to Sin, Sex and Relationships
Lesson 1 – Know Your Opponent

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  • Ebin George

    Excellent ! Many people make mistake at this point

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