The Minister’s Guide to Sin, Sex and Relationships: Lesson 3 – The Importance of Communication

Many experts believe that the strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue. The bible says that it holds the power for life and death (Proverbs 18:21). It is no secret that the ability to know when to and when not to use your tongue is extremely crucial for the success of any relationship.

A key element to avoiding the pitfalls that many marriages encounter is communication. It is important for us to constantly maintain communication with both God and your spouse. Quality God-focused communication is about talking and listening. It is about saying kind, and encouraging things. It is about honesty. It is not about dishonesty, degradation and abuse.

Talking
Studies show that in the average day women use three times as many words as men do. Most men just aren’t big talkers. I’m not 100% sure why, it is just the way most of us are.

Man or woman, whether you are a big talker or not, you must be intentional about maintaining communication with your spouse. If there are parts of the relationship that bother you, then the other person needs to know about it. The worse thing you can do is to hold your feelings in. Your failure to express your feelings with your spouse can result in you finding someone else to express your feelings to.

The next thing you know, you begin to connect with this third party on an emotional level. This can become dangerous. This emotional connection is something that God intended for us to have with our spouses, not with someone outside of our marriages.

Your spouse also needs to know about the good things. They need to know about the things that they say or do to make you happy. Positive reinforcement is good in the many different types of relationships that we have with people and marriage is no different.

Here are a couple of scriptures that describe how God wants us to talk:
Ephesians 4:25
Ephesians 4:29
Colossians 3:17
Colossians 4:6

Listening
In order to be good communicators we must also be good listeners. I believe that it is God’s desire for us to listen to what our spouses have to say. Dismissing their feelings and opinions will not enhance your marriage. You will be left with a person that is angry and bitter.

Even if you disagree with something that your spouse says, it is important to let them know that you understand what they are saying. You will often find that God will use your spouse to speak to you. If you ignore them, you will miss what God has to say.

Here are a couple of scriptures that describe how God wants us to listen:
James 1:19
Proverbs 18:13
Proverbs 19:27

The Bottom Line
There is a difference between being married for a long time and being happily married. Which one do you want? After the sex and is over, we need to be able to effectively communicate with our spouses.

I think everything is so much better when you communicate with your spouse. Even the sex is better! What do you think?

The Minister’s Guide to Sin, Sex and Relationships
Lesson 1: Know Your Opponent
Lesson 2: Never Be Alone With The Opposite Sex

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