What To Do When You’ve Been Hurt By The Church

If you have ever spent any amount of time with a group of people, chances are, they will hurt you in someway. I’m sure we have all experienced hurt from people on our jobs or even from our friends. Many individuals never expect to get hurt by people at their church, but it happens there too. Yes, church, a place where love and the presence of God is supposed to abide has been the source of extreme hurt for a large number of people. So, what do you do when it happens to you? Here are a couple of tips to help you overcome being hurt at church.

This may be difficult to do, but before you react, say or do anything, I highly recommend that you pray first. God has the ability to fill a multitude of roles in our lives. In situations like this, you can use God a both a counselor and a sounding board. When you pray, ask God what you should do. Ask him how he would like you to respond to what has happened to you.

The hurt you experience may be too extreme for you to wait to hear what the Lord has to say. Your emotions may be to the point where you can’t even hear God clearly. That is a completely normal human response. If this is the case, you can exercise 1 Peter 5:7. Unload all of your feelings and emotions on the Lord. Let it all out. Once you have finished, take some time so God can respond and speak to you about this situation.

Separate The Church From God
It is natural for people to connect the church to God. When somebody hurts you, it is not God’s fault. I don’t care how long this person has been walking with the Lord and how spiritual they appear to be. We are all human. We are all prone to make mistakes and make bad judgments.

God promised to never leave you or forsake you. God promised to love you with an everlasting love. The people at your church can’t make the same promise. God gives us all free will. It is never his intent for you to be hurt. The worst thing you could do is to turn your back on him after being hurt by a man or woman. The best thing to do is run to God after you’ve been hurt. He will comfort you during this time.

Talk To The Person That Hurt You
After praying, the Lord may lead you to have a conversation with the person that hurt you. It is important that you try to keep the conversation calm, respectful and civil. Clearly explain to the person how they hurt you. It is likely that you will find the the incident of hurt was unintentional. It may also be good to have a 3rd party present.

Talk to Someone Else
The bible talks about the importance of seeking wise counsel (Proverbs 19:20). Talking to someone who is sensible and honest will help give you a good perspective about the entire situation.

Be Willing To Forgive
The person that hurt you might have done it unintentionally. If they apologize, the right thing to do would be to forgive them. Your forgiveness will go a long way towards your healing process.

After being hurt by a church member, you may want to leave the church. Ask yourself, is that what God wants you to do? More importantly, ask God if that is this what he wants you to do. You would think that believers would be above harmful behavior. Just because we follow Christ, that does not mean that we are perfect and exempt from making foolish decisions. Remember, prayer is always your first and best option for overcoming a situation like this.

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  • http://your-dailyword.blogspot.com Mikes Sumondong

    this is true. something like this really happen no matter how we deny it. great tips and avices. 1 of which I really like and guilty of. Separate church from the person. sometimes a lot of people don’t go to church anymore because they’ve been hurt. this action/response actually separates you all the more from the person and from GOD. and that’s wrong! People will know if we love one another. let’s exercise most especially in these situations.

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